5/14/15 – This special post was written over Mother’s Day weekend. I haven’t had time to update this until now. Just so everyone has the proper context!
Today is Friday. Sunday is Mother’s Day. Do I feel bad going to Virginia Beach for a cheerleading competition and “taking my mom” or do I understand the point where it’s best for me. I’m really not sure. I know it’s best for ME if my mom goes. But it isn’t best for HER, my BROTHER, and my DAD. That’s two more people. I want her to have her normal Mother’s Day. I feel bad that it’s gonna be a beautiful day, and she’s going to be inside a hot auditorium. We celebrated Mother’s Day today, and Victor and I made my mom breakfast in bed, but it just didn’t feel the same. Maybe it was the fact that Victor had to go to school right after. I just don’t know.yes I felt bad about “taking my mom for the weekend, ” but maybe it is best for me. Maybe I need this and I need her to be there. My dad, mom, and brother, would not put me through this if it was best for me. But they might think it’s best for me, but is it best for them? No, and they think and I think it’s okay. I want them to be happy even if I’m alone at the competition.
I had a dream last night. I wouldn’t consider it a nightmare, but I didn’t enjoy it, until the end at least. It started by me waking up, so I actually belived it was happening. I woke up, and my dad, in a suit, was off to work. I said “Wow dad, are you off to work?” He looked at me like I had ten eyes. I was really confused. My mom, came downstairs, in her gym clothes. She said she was going to the gym. I said, “I’m really proud of you mom, finding some time to do something for yourself.” Once again, the crazy-ten eyed look. I just didn’t get it. “Bye!” Victor said running out the door. Everyone was running all over the place, and we didn’t even have our daily “What’s happening today” talk. I turned my head to look over at our (Well mine) favorite family picture, the one of us all wearing our #bradstrong beanies. The hats, weren’t there. I turned to look at the jar where the bradstrong bracelets are. It was empty. It all started to come together, my dad, did not have cancer. Then I realized, maybe this cancer thing isn’t all that bad. Maybe, it happened for a reason, to bring my family closer together. Because this new family, I didn’t like. That’s when I thought about it, maybe everything happens for a reason. And I think EVERYBODY, big or small, young, or old, strong or weak, good, or bad, cancer, or not cancer, deserves to know that.
If I had one wish, it would be to cure cancer. My wish, is a dream. And sometimes, a dream is a mission. And NO MISSION, is EVER impossible. My dad is one, of many fighters. Yet also, one, of many survivors. Everyday, his eyes get a little smaller. His legs get a little more rashes. His head becomes more and more bald. But that doesn’t stop him. No, but who would stop your thinking right? Well, it’s not like that. It’s hard to keep fighting you know. Especially when you have as little strength as him. I can’t even imagine being in his position right now. Everyone counting on him to feel better. It’s really not that easy.