When Robin Williams passed this week there were all kinds of posts and memes (what IS a meme anyway?) about “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
This week our fantasy football league in town had a bit of strife. An email chain started and got out of control a bit regarding rules. It degenerated into anger, name calling and general stupidity. We lost sight of why we play the game. We lost sight of our friendships. It’s just not that important. We’ve got other stuff to deal with. All of us. Everyone is fighting a battle …
Today I am back at Mt. Sinai for a visit with Dr. J. My MRI came back with some disturbing stuff. There is another mass outside the bone that needs to be radiated. I’m not sure what it is but hopefully will get some answers today.
The good news is that although there is active Myeloma in the bone marrow I am structurally sound. No fractures. My spine is in tact and I don’t have any compression.
Hopefully we can blow whatever this thing is in my body up and get rid of this Cancer for good.
I have to admit, I am a bit scared. For the first time I am ceding control of my situation to the disease. I can’t choose when to get treatments based on MY schedule anymore. I need to hit this thing HARD and FAST.
I haven’t had a ton of pain. Last weekend was tough. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I felt great. Last night, however, I started to get shaky. Chills, sweats, pain. Strange. I could barely get out of bed this morning. When the alarm went off at 5 AM I didn’t want to move but I had appointments for work on Long Island.
Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to make it from my bed to the shower. Helene asked me why was I even going? I don’t know, really. It’s what I do I guess. What else was I going to do cancel my appointments and sit around the house until I could see Dr. J?
My first appointment was with a prospect who I was meeting at a Starbucks in Smithtown. He didn’t show. I called him at his office. He said he would be there in 20 minutes – no – 1/2 hour. OK – my next meeting wasn’t until noon. I could wait. No big deal.
45 minutes later – a phone call – we need to reschedule. What? I barely made it out of the house let alone Smithtown, NY!!! Everyone is fighting a battle …. He didn’t know that but if he did would he have acted differently?
Let’s just say the day didn’t get much better after that. I will spare you the gory details but I had a good long seat in the Huntington Hilton men’s room for about 45 minutes as well.
FAST FORWARD … just got out of docs office:
Thankfully the news from Mt. Sinai isn’t as bad as I feared. Just a little tissue outside the bone. Will have 10 more days of radiation. We will biopsy the tissue Tuesday when I come back for chemo. The chemo may already be working against it anyway.
Dr. J set up appointments for me with the radiation department and Dr. M the biopsy guy. Dr. B, who did the first round of radiation, has left Mt. Sinai. I had to go see his replacement for a follow up and she left me waiting for over an hour. So I left. Her assistant called me the next day and I kind of went off on her. It was the second time they left me waiting and the second time I left. I hope I am not “flagged” in her system. Everyone is fighting a battle …
As they were drawing the blood work in the lab for the biopsy doc, one of my favorite nurses, Patrick, came into the lab. “You’re back again?” He said.
“Yep.” I answered. “This shit is relentless.”
He came back with “You are more relentless. I am convinced of that.”
I am more relentless. I am more relentless than Cancer. I am more relentless than Myeloma.