I read or saw three things tonight that made me cry, made me think and eventually made me smile. The first was a quote:
“Don’t COUNT your days, make every day COUNT”
I wish I could remember who posted it on what blog, Twitter, or Facebook so I could properly give the credit. The second was when I was watching NFL Network this evening. They had a show about Mike Shanahan, when he was coach of the Denver Broncos, miked up for sound. At the very end of the program there was footage of the sidelines and the locker room. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the line “I’m PROUD of you.” Whether it was the coach telling the players, the players telling the coach – or – the one that got to me the most: When Mike Shanahan’s son gave him a big hug on the sideline and said to him, “I’m PROUD of you dad.”
You know, I am so PROUD of my children. Every single day they do something that AMAZES me – yet every single day they act like typical 9 and 11 year olds as well. How often do I look past the stupidity of being pre-teenagers and tell them how PROUD I am of them. I am PROUD of their school work (although sometimes not how they prioritize it) I am PROUD of their work on the athletic fields, in the tumbling room and in the friendships they develop and create. I am especially PROUD of the feedback I get from teachers and parents about their demeanor and enthusiasm. And I know Helene is PROUD as well.
But I live for a moment like Coach Shanahan had with his son. I live for the moments when I stop being the mean parent and my kids hug me and say – “I’m PROUD of you dad.”
Make every day count. I want to give them confidence. The confidence to succeed, the confidence to fail and the confidence so that they know if and when they do fail – we (Helene and I) will be there to guide them back onto the road of eventual success. The confidence to confide in us. The confidence to know that we love them unconditionally. I heard George W. Bush give a speech once. The one thing that stuck out in that speech was the love he shared with his father. And he said, “My father loved me unconditionally. Unconditional love mitigates risk.” George W. Bush’s confidence came from the fact that no matter WHAT he did – his father loved him UNCONDITIONALLY. And that is the greatest gift we can give our children. I am PROUD of them.
Make every day count. The third thing that I read was this:
Here is a guy who said – Today is Thanksgiving and I’ll be damned if I am going to count my days. Here is a guy who made THAT DAY, Thanksgiving Day, if not every day count.
It hit home for me because although my official diagnosis was December 1st through bone marrow biopsy and blood testing, we knew it was Cancer about a week beforehand – Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is my main MILESTONE. Since that Thanksgiving I have tried to make every day count. I make it count for my family, for my friends, for my community and for my work. I’m not 100% successful 100% of the time but I try my best every day – and that is something I hope my kids are PROUD of.
Cycle 11 started today. I had my Myeloma blood panels taken and preliminary results are that we are moving still in the right direction. I will post the numbers up as soon as I get them confirmed – possibly tomorrow, possibly Monday or Tuesday.