Did you ever see that commercial? The one where they guy gets out of the pool and he looks like the picture of perfect health. The ladies all stare at him as he walks across the pool deck. Then – the announcer starts talking about cholesterol. He looks like a million bucks on the outside but on the inside he is all screwed up with health issues. That’s how I feel.
Not that I am vain enough to think I look like a million bucks (chemo bloat takes care of that) but when I am off treatment I feel regular. I am not groggy. My mind is sharper. I am more alert. The only thing wrong is on the inside. On the inside I feel more “myeloma-y” if that’s a word.
Although I feel great in general I do have some bone pain. A couple of twinges in the ribs from time to time. My back hurts – although I think that is a function of lifting – Dr. D, the transplant doctor, says it is Myeloma related.
So Myeloma is sending me signals. Telling me, no – REMINDING me – that it is always there and can strike back whenever it likes. That’s OK. Bring it. I have a few things in my back pocket for Myeloma as well. Friday I start my Neupogen shots to mobilize my stem cells for harvest and then Monday I begin my road to transplant and (hopefully) a long remission with the stem cell harvest.
Last night I got to coach first for Victor’s baseball team. I didn’t think about Cancer the whole game. After the rain shortened victory the whole team (parents included) went to BWW. It was good to be with everyone, have a beer and be REGULAR for awhile. Last night while I was sleeping I was up a few times because my back hurt. Constant REMINDERS.
So – I feel like Myeloma and I are in a CEASE FIRE period right now. I am huddling up with my field generals (doctors) to wage our next battle – stem cell harvest. Myeloma, on the other hand, is waging a PSYCHOLOGICAL war. Tweaking my ribs and back here and there – not constantly – trying to remind me that it can be there any time it wants.
That’s OK. The SILVER LINING is that I have many ways and distractions to put it out of my mind until the generals begin the next phase. That and the fact that I feel great when I am off treatment. When I am in the CEASE FIRE period I am able to enjoy the little moments of life together with family, friends and more.
It’s a great day to fight cancer.