Yesterday I continued my current cycle (let’s call it cycle 5) of Chemo at Mt. Sinai. This is the “semi-maintenance” to get me through the end of the year when I have the stem cell transplant. There isn’t really anything unusual about it to report. I had a breakfast meeting for work, got in the car, drove into the city and got my meds – which for this cycle are Cytoxan (replaced Revlimid), Carfilzomib and Dexamethasome.
DEX is the steroid. It keeps me up all night! And actually I was kind of psyched to NOT SLEEP last night. I had so much going on. My evening was planned out. Victor had a baseball game – I would go watch that. A little dinner (OK – A LOT of dinner – thanks DEX), My parents are here so I would spend some great time with them. NFL draft on TV and a Bulls/Nets playoff game. I envisioned myself going back and forth with my friend Matt (@MPG61) on Twitter about the draft all night because he had DEX today too. I envisioned the great draft analysis from my cuz (@court_mannCHI) and I envisioned a cornucopia of first class NBA tweets from my other buddy Brian Geltzeiler (@hoopscritic) to help me through the insomnia.
I loaded up on a DEX induced dinner of Chicken Noodle Soup, a turkey sandwich on rye and Gluten Free Rice Krispies. Got on the couch manned with my iPad on Twitter and ….FELL DIRECTLY ASLEEP! WAIT….WHAT?
I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO SLEEP TONIGHT. I HAVE PLANS. MY EVENING IS ALL SET UP! Why DEX, why?
That – again – is the thing about Cancer. It is utterly, entirely UNPREDICTABLE! Everything changes. Every number drawn from the blood has meaning – wait – sometimes REAL meaning or sometimes IMAGINED IN MY HEAD meaning. The imagined in my head meaning is the worst part. I can make up a lot of shit in my head about how sick I am or how much worse I am getting. BY THE WAY – I can also make up a lot of shit about how well I am and how much better I am getting as well. The imagined stuff is only cured by confirmation from the doctor that this is all going according to plan
Don’t get me wrong – I am THRILLED that I slept last night. I just want to know WHY – WHY did I sleep LAST NIGHT and not all the other nights (a modern day Passover question there.) Maybe it’s because I worked my ass off this week – early mornings and late nights? Maybe it’s because I needed to catch up. OR – MAYBE – it’s just because as we say in my industry – THIS TIME IT’S DIFFERENT.
I feel great this morning. My mom is coming with me to treatment. I slept more than I have in a month. I am having my best month ever at work. NOW – someone tell me – Who did the Bears and the Giants pick last night? and who won the Bulls/Nets game?