It is off to Mt. Sinai today to finish cycle 4 of CRD. I pushed the schedule up this week to Wednesday/Thursday instead of the usual Friday/Saturday so that I can hop a plane to Florida later and spend time with my family – Helene, kids and Grandma Natalie and Grandpa Ike.
Having Cancer has had the impact on my life of trying to be a superhero ALL THE TIME. I don’t want any weakness to show through the cracks in my creaky bones. From day one I set a course that nothing, NOTHING would be different. I would go to work, take care of family, coach basketball and soccer, fulfill my volunteer duties on the JCC Board and Investment Committees, get my treatments, go to acupuncture – NOTHING would change.
This week my bones were fine but my brain was not! Too much – I am looking forward to some R&R over the next few days. At some point the stress of trying to be NORMAL just wore me down. I felt as if all week I was one step away from the edge. If nothing else this week has taught me that it doesn’t take a superhero to fight Cancer. We all have the ability to do it. We all face long odds in something in our lives. Everyone has shit to deal with. I have to take some time to relax, recharge and reorganize in all aspects of my life. Cancer is a bump in the road. I can be normal without being EVERYTHING to EVERYBODY. I have to do the things that make me feel NORMAL and that way I can be NORMAL to everyone else.
I should have taken a week off this week and been with the family in Florida. I felt work tugging at my bones. I felt disorganized before the week began and felt I needed some BRAD time, some WORK time but what I needed all along was FAMILY time. I just wish I would have realized it sooner.
So many thanks to Grandma, Grandpa and Helene. The kids are having a fabulous time. Everyone is on the run to different activities every day. I can’t wait to join them tonight!
Next week we take the myeloma markers, the week after that my second PET CT scan of the bones, week after that a check up with Dr. J. But THIS WEEK? At least the REST OF THIS WEEK? NORMAL. R&R. Family … I am on my way!