3/13 – My Freakin’ Back

I haven’t updated the blog in a few days.  Partly because everything is normal.  I am on a bye week from chemo – start again this Friday – so I am just head down concentrating on work.  And then yesterday happened.

I have had a little back pain since coming back from California.  Not so bad, just a dull pain in the middle of the back.  Yesterday I sat down for a breakfast meeting and I started coughing.  And I couldn’t stop coughing.  And I continued coughing.  My client across the table must have been freaking out.  And then….. I SNEEZED…..HOLY SHIT!  

I felt something in the middle of my back snap.  It hurt so badly that I had to get up from the table because I was literally CRYING in pain.  CRYING!  I walked it off, sat down, finished the meeting and got into my car.  I reclined the seat back all the way and turned the heated seats on my back and cried.

See – here’s the thing.  I have cancer.  I have Multiple Myeloma.  My bones are weak and even though I feel great, even though I have great energy, even though I am a competitive person and even though my blood work indicates that I am getting better…I have Multiple Myeloma and I can’t forget that – check that – my BODY won’t let my MIND ever forget that.

My bones are weak.  It doesn’t matter how much I hit the gym, how many weights I lift or how many minutes I do on the elliptical.  My bones are weak.  It doesn’t matter if I can jump up and down on the sidelines while coaching, how many 3 on 2 drills I can run with 10 year olds or how many free throws I can make in a row.  I have cancer.  This back thing is just a friendly reminder that we don’t spike the ball and we are not out of the woods.

Today I feel better.  Not 100% better – but better.  No more 6 hour flights.  No more heavy weights.  No more jumping up and down.  Yesterday what was an 11 on the pain scale of 1 to 10 is now a 3 or a 4.  Nothing 2 percoset, 2 ambien and a glass of red wine couldn’t cure.

I will be more careful.  I will be more mindful of what I am fighting.  BUT – I will not GIVE UP my competitive spirit.  Too much to do.  Too much to accomplish.

Cycle 4 starts Friday.  MRI on the back as well.  It’s a great day to continue the fight against cancer.  It’s a great day to be #bradstrong.


6 responses to “3/13 – My Freakin’ Back

  1. Love the positive outlook despite the rough day. Way to hang in there and keep grinding. And btw, in my book, it will always matter how many free throws you can make in a row! #bradstrong

  2. Sorry to hear about your back. Make sure you mention it to your oncolgist though. You might have fractured something and better to know sooner rather than later. My husband lost 2 inches in height from his fractured/compressed vetebra and he hates that he is now under 6 foot…maybe if he had know about the MM sooner he wouldn’t have lost so much height.

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