I haven’t updated the blog in a few days. Partly because everything is normal. I am on a bye week from chemo – start again this Friday – so I am just head down concentrating on work. And then yesterday happened.
I have had a little back pain since coming back from California. Not so bad, just a dull pain in the middle of the back. Yesterday I sat down for a breakfast meeting and I started coughing. And I couldn’t stop coughing. And I continued coughing. My client across the table must have been freaking out. And then….. I SNEEZED…..HOLY SHIT!
I felt something in the middle of my back snap. It hurt so badly that I had to get up from the table because I was literally CRYING in pain. CRYING! I walked it off, sat down, finished the meeting and got into my car. I reclined the seat back all the way and turned the heated seats on my back and cried.
See – here’s the thing. I have cancer. I have Multiple Myeloma. My bones are weak and even though I feel great, even though I have great energy, even though I am a competitive person and even though my blood work indicates that I am getting better…I have Multiple Myeloma and I can’t forget that – check that – my BODY won’t let my MIND ever forget that.
My bones are weak. It doesn’t matter how much I hit the gym, how many weights I lift or how many minutes I do on the elliptical. My bones are weak. It doesn’t matter if I can jump up and down on the sidelines while coaching, how many 3 on 2 drills I can run with 10 year olds or how many free throws I can make in a row. I have cancer. This back thing is just a friendly reminder that we don’t spike the ball and we are not out of the woods.
Today I feel better. Not 100% better – but better. No more 6 hour flights. No more heavy weights. No more jumping up and down. Yesterday what was an 11 on the pain scale of 1 to 10 is now a 3 or a 4. Nothing 2 percoset, 2 ambien and a glass of red wine couldn’t cure.
I will be more careful. I will be more mindful of what I am fighting. BUT – I will not GIVE UP my competitive spirit. Too much to do. Too much to accomplish.
Cycle 4 starts Friday. MRI on the back as well. It’s a great day to continue the fight against cancer. It’s a great day to be #bradstrong.