1/4 – WTF?

Back to Mount Sinai today for day 15. 5th treatment out of 6 for this cycle. Everything going fine until…Blood counts come in and things are a little different than usual. Not GOOD different – Not BAD different. Just DIFFERENT. What does that mean? I don’t know – WTF!

My brother and I tried to interpret the nurse practitioner who they sent to explain why my LDH which typically has been running around 140 to 150 is now at 223 (3 points above the normal range) and why my total protein count is now high (.1 high – not much) at 8.4.

She said it could mean that the medicine is WORKING. That is GOOD. When cells start exploding and getting destroyed by chemo there is nowhere else for stuff to go other than the blood – so it could mean that chemo is destroying the cells and the overflow is heading into the blood and is being picked up by the blood tests.

What else could it mean? It could mean the myeloma is worsening. Elevated LDH and Protein is a “soft” (that is the word she used) “soft” indicator that the monthly myeloma markers will not be continuing their positive trend. MAYBE. WTF!

Also – I have a cold. Stuffy head, sore throat – no fever. She said it could be due to inflammation. Who knows? WTF! They are going to draw blood for the myeloma markets so keep your fingers crossed and we will find out what they measure on Tuesday. I asked her if I should wait for the markers until my cold goes away because the inflammation would skew the numbers if that were the case but she said no. I told her I ONLY want to see positive trends. I ONLY want to see numbers that move in the right direction. My WISE brother told me that was like only counting touchdown passes and not counting interceptions. If only…then we might have a Bears vs. Giants NFC championship game.

All I know is that no one knows. My biggest fear, which was kidney failure – very common with this – is unlikely because my creatinine is 1.2. She also said that if she felt the disease was worsening than the LDH level would be 300 or 400 or higher (which its not) so I have that going for me.

This is what drives me bananas about this. Having cancer sucks. BY THE WAY – I am ready for cancer to leave my body. I am sick and tired of having cancer. It is a huge inconvenience. That being said, the real “I want to fuck with your head” moments of this are that EVERY SINGLE TIME you go for treatment, check up, what have you – SOMETHING – ANYTHING – could change. The unknown is as formidable an opponent as the cancer. And that SUCKS.

OK – back to the Mount tomorrow. I don’t feel sick anymore – probably the Dex steroid – but hopefully the blood work will show improvement – even if it doesn’t really mean anything.

SILVER LINING – Dr. J became a grandfather for the first time this week. He will be a fantastic grandpa. And that will be one scary smart kid!

BELOW FROM MY MOM:

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2 responses to “1/4 – WTF?

  1. Hi Brad, thanks for sharing, sounds like a rough day. I hope you feel better, being sick sucks.hang in there, love the message from your mom. RichieP.

  2. Dear Brad, Uncle Herb and I have our fingers crossed for you. Remember: cancer is something you have, not something you are! It is an evil invader, but the meds are exorcists – just give them some time. They are getting to know you and when they encounter your spirit and “bradstrong” attitude, they wil limp away and die. You are very lucky to have a brother like Craig. Hug him every chance you get. Please let us know when we can talk with you on the phone – we don’t want to be intrusive.

    We are thinking about you all of the time and sending good vibes.

    It is going to be a good New Year!

    Love to you, Helene, Victor and Ava, Aunt Roberta

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