11/19 – Monday – Day 1

WOW!  Suspicions of Multiple Myeloma.  WTF?  That’s what this back pain is?  Holy Shit.  What now?  These are my feelings, my thoughts – MY RANT.  Its not about the blood work, the x-rays showing “multiple lucent lesions” either.  Its about getting it out – dealing with it – and most importantly BEATING THIS FUCKING SHIT UP!


Helene and I went to the doctor today and this is what we found.  Strength.  I need to be strong.  It’s so hard to be strong when all I can think about is Helene, Victor and Ava.  Every picture I have in my mind of them makes me cry.  I lost it outside Dr. Eidus’ office.  He called it a hurdle.  Its gonna be tough but I can do this.


Helene, Victor and Ava – I love you guys more than you will ever, ever know.  You guys don’t deserve this pain.  How do you cope with this?  I will be strong.  I promise.

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